5 Myths About Baby Sleep

I remember clearly, as I'm sure most mothers do, the exact moment I gave birth to my first child. I was absolutely flooded with feelings of love and gratitude. About ten to fifteen seconds later, I was equally flooded with advice, suggestions, and information. All of this was thrown at me with the best intentions, but it was nonetheless overwhelming. I can't imagine how many times I heard the words: 'You should,' 'You'll want to,' and 'You have to.' It's truly extraordinary the number of suggestions a new mother receives in her first year of motherhood.

Of course, those feelings of love and gratitude persist to this day, as do the recommendations, whether from an expert, a childcare professional, or family and friends. There's no such thing as a casual mother. This job is full-time, whether you're a stay-at-home mom, a working mom, or somewhere in between. Your children are on your mind 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, no matter what else might be happening, so we tend to do a lot of research, with access to unlimited data, be it through the internet, our own mothers, or our mothers-in-law. It's inevitable that we get some conflicting information. Although, when it comes to children, I think the discussion often eclipses into the claim of opinion as fact. So, I'll try to dispel some of the most popular myths coming from various sources: mom forums and groups, Facebook, workshops, family, friends, media, etc.

1. Sleeping too much during the day will keep the baby awake at night.
It's unlikely, except in extreme cases. Unless your little one is sleeping practically all day and staying awake all night, you probably don't need to worry about the length of their naps. Newborns especially need a 'ton' of sleep. In fact, until about 6 months, I don't recommend your little one being awake for more than about 2 hours at a time. For newborns, that time frame is even lower: between 45 minutes to an hour. What keeps babies awake at night, more than anything else, is overtiredness. You might think an exhausted baby is more likely to sleep through the night compared to one who napped all day, but in reality, it's precisely the opposite. The reason we refer to the baby as 'overtired' is that they've missed their window of opportunity while just tired, drowsy, and ready to go to sleep. When that happens, their body starts releasing cortisol to stay awake, which clearly prevents them from falling asleep. A baby who has slept well during the day will be much less likely to miss their sleep window. There are substantial variations depending on the baby's age and the length of their nap, but up to that 6-month mark, it's not really uncommon for the baby to sleep about 5 hours a day outside of nighttime sleep. So, if your little one is still within those guidelines, just let them sleep.

2. Sleep is a natural development and cannot be taught.
Sleep is natural, absolutely. Everyone wakes up and falls back asleep several times a night, regardless of their age. So, no, you can't teach a child to sleep. What can be taught, however, is the ability to fall back asleep independently. A baby who typically sleeps poorly doesn't need less sleep, nor are they more prone to waking up. They've just learned to rely on external assistance to fall back asleep when they wake up. Once your little one figures out how to fall asleep without assistance from external sources, they'll start stringing sleep cycles together effortlessly, and that's the secret to getting them to 'sleep through the night.'

3. Babies will naturally dictate their own sleep schedules.
The idea that infant physiology is so flawless, naturally programmed to regulate a baby's schedule, is, to be quite frank, ludicrous. Nothing against Mother Nature, but she doesn't give us a ready-to-run baby like she does with the blue wildebeest, for example. (Seriously? Walking six minutes after birth? Evading predators within a day? Our babies are cuter, but clearly not as prepared for battle outside the womb!). Babies need extensive care and help in their development, and their sleep cycles are incredibly irregular if not organized. If they miss their natural sleep cycle by just half an hour, their cortisol production can increase, causing an energy surge, and things quickly spiral out of control. So, as much as you might wish babies would fall asleep when they're tired, it simply doesn't work that way. This doesn't mean you shouldn't respond to your baby's cues, but you shouldn't rely on them exclusively either.

4. Sleep training is stressful for the baby and can affect the parent-child bond.
No, not at all! And this statement is not mine but that of the American Academy of Pediatrics. According to a 2016 study conducted by eight of its top researchers, behavioral sleep intervention (also known as 'Sleep Training') provides significant and immeasurable sleep benefits but does not cause additional stress or long-term harmful effects on the parent-child bond or any other detrimental consequences on the child's emotions and/or behavior.

5. Babies were not 'designed' to sleep through the night.
Putting aside our religious beliefs for a moment, I think we can all agree that even if babies were somehow 'designed,' whoever did the designing left plenty of room for some improvements! Relying on your child's physiology to dictate their sleep schedule, eating habits, behavior, or any other aspect of their upbringing is a recipe for disaster!

Was your child designed to eat three pounds of gummy bears? Certainly not. Will they do it if you don't intervene? Definitely. Is your baby designed to avoid predators? If so, no one told my little ones, who would have gladly embraced a hungry Siberian tiger if it approached them! Our little ones need our expertise and guidance to guide them through their early years, and probably decades beyond that. This is especially true when it comes to their sleep. Some babies are naturally excellent sleepers, for sure, but don't trust the advice of those who tell you that babies should dictate their own schedules. Parents and/or caregivers are responsible for that because they do know what's best for their children even if they sometimes think they don't. There are obviously many more myths and misconceptions surrounding babies and their sleep habits, but these are some of the most important ones to know the facts about. Remember, there are countless posts on social media and websites that portray themselves as factual, and indeed, nothing stops them from making that claim, regardless of their accuracy or basis in real scientific evidence. Besides Google, you can find scientific studies on baby-related topics through reliable sources such as the National Health Service, the World Health Organization, the American Academy of Pediatrics, among other national and international child health organizations.

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